Him and I
by Sugarplumjellygum
Summary: "You can kiss me if you want." He said in a voice that was quiet enough so that no one but I could hear. My eyes must have widened in shock, "I want to." I said just as quietly.


JK owns everything!

Him and I

I watched him. Daily. Nightly. Whenever I got the chance. He never knew how I felt, he never saw me watching and if anyone had noticed they never told him. At first I thought I was just fascinated by him because of his family's reputation and what my family had said about his family.

I'd walk in the great hall for meals and immediately my eyes would search for him.

It took me a couple years of getting to know him from afar to realise I had feelings for him. I told myself it was crazy. Firstly, I wasn't gay! And even if I was, it had to just be a crush, a silly, silly crush. Right?

I wondered if I dated a girl my "feelings" would disappear.

I went and asked her out, she was nice, kind, loving, generous and beautiful. She was perfect. We went on a date to Madam Puddifoot's for lunch. It was fun and we laughed a lot. I enjoyed her company but we both agreed there was just no spark.

We left with the promise to always be friends and I cried myself to sleep, I finally realise and acknowledged I was gay.

I cried more for my family than for myself, what would they think? What would they do? It would destroy them. I would destroy them. I didn't think they'd understand. Who could?

After I'd admitted it to myself it became easier for me to deal with, I felt free, I didn't have to hide who I was from myself. I never showed how I felt to anyone nor did I tell anyone. But I felt more excited to watch him now. Still in secret but happy. I learnt his favourite foods, subjects, what he wore most. He had a grey jumper in winter under his school robes and red sneakers, always red sneakers. He loved Transfiguration but was better in Charms. I guess he got that from his parents. He never ate peas, or any green vegetable for that matter.

He got owls three times a week and one gift a month from his grandmother.

I was thankful that we were in different houses, how could we not be?

We took most of the same classes and I always chose to sit far from him, that way I could still watch him and concentrate on my work. We'd been partners a few times in our classes and he always complained that he didn't want to be working with "the likes of him", however, this never stopped me from falling in love with him and by our sixth year I was imagining what it would be like to be married to him.

He had dated a couple girls and was best friends with another girl. I'd seen them kiss once but the looks on their faces screamed "Gross! Never again."

They would holiday together, their families being very close.

I knew that without a doubt he was planning on following in his father's footsteps, I'd seen him helping his father at work even though legally he wasn't allowed to. But his father was brilliant at what he did and rules were bent. He mainly helped with filing and posting letters but sometimes be ran errands and brought coffee for some of the staff. He once snuck into one of the private rooms to have a look around and got yelled at. I laughed out aloud and everyone looked at me, including him. He threw me a dark look and stormed off. I immediately felt bad.

I never knew he'd been watching me for years too. I'd seen him looking at me a few times but with both of our families being famous with reputations that sold books it was expected that he'd too be curious.

I never knew he loved me too until that day he told me I could kiss him if I wanted to when we were standing in front of both of our families. It was that day I realised my feelings were not mine alone but his too.

I had been rushing from Flourish and Blotts to Madam Malkin's when I tripped over his foot and went tumbling to the floor, my ink and quills flying everywhere.

"Hey! Watch where you stick your foot, you moron!" I yelled, not even realising who it was.

"Watch where you're going, you fool! Maybe you shouldn't be running?" He yelled back.

My head snapped up when I heard his voice, I stopped gathering my stuff and stood up. It had been a bad day and even though I was standing in front of the one person I loved above any other, I was annoyed.

"You made me break all my new supplies!" I kept yelling as I waved my hand at the floor where all my new school supplies were broken.

"So what? You can just buy more. Money is no problem in your family."

"Nor is it in yours so you can buy me new stuff!"

"I'm not buying you anything! Now move."

He tried to step around me but I shoved him back, I wasn't done yelling at him. He shoved me back and then swung out a fist. Years of playing Quidditch had taught me to be fast and I ducked. Before he could swing out again I yanked him by his collar and said in my most menacing voice, "You've chosen the wrong day to mess with me."

"ALBUS!"

"SCORPIUS"

That's when we noticed both of our families standing by, watching us.

Our mothers looking panicked and ready to scream at us again, our fathers ready to jump in at any moment to break us up and Lily and James looking eager for a possible fight between him and me.

I dropped my hand but didn't move. I slowly turned my head back to look at him. His face was expressionless but his breath was shaky.

"You can kiss me if you want." He said in a voice that was quiet enough so that no one but I could hear.

My eyes must have widened in shock,

"I want to." I said just as quietly. But then I did nothing, I just stood staring into his beautiful eyes, eyes I could have drawn to detail after staring at them for six years.

All I remember from that first kiss was the world fading around me as he lent in and his soft lips touched mine.

It was as if a thousand bolts of lightning had just run through my body, the spark was so huge and it was the most amazing kiss I'd ever experienced, and would have been more but before the kiss could deepen his was being yanked away from me and dragged down the alley way by his father. I tried to run after him but was held back by my father.

I screamed for him but it was no use, they had apparated and soon we had too.


End file.
